The Paternity Case
by Sapphitini (June 2002)
Endangered? Well, I see martini bars all over the place, with
a martini list a mile long!"
are the last thing I want to be uptight about, but I do feel that
some statements must be made at this website in order for us to
all just get along.
bar that boasts "an extensive Martini selection" should
mean that they
as a Vodka Martini.
should be the extent of the selection right there.
my good friend Mr. Trader Vic says that you can also have a Rum
Martini, but that is as far "out there" as you get with
break it down for you:
Chocolate Martini = not a Martini
Strawberry Chocolate Martini = not a Martini
Extra Dry Bombay Sapphire Martini, up with olives = Martini
the recipe for this drink HAS been modified over the years. In
fact, the original recipe for a Martini is said to go like this:
one dash of Bitters, two dashes of Maraschino, one wine glass
of Vermouth, two lamps of ice (Tiffany used to make ice?), one
pony of Old Tom Gin and served with quarter slice of lemon. As
years marched on, and as regulations were set at gin distilleries,
several of these unnecessary ingredients have rightly fallen by
this drink has been LOSING INGREDIENTS.
when the basic ingredients were narrowed down to gin and vermouth,
proportions of vermouth to gin continued to spiral downward. What
a dramatic (and fortunate) change indeed, from the early days
of four parts vermouth to one part gin! Today when this drink
is made, one basically looks at the bottle of vermouth. That's
as much to add to the mix. This drink is basically a chilled,
six-ounce shot of Bombay Sapphire, garnished with olives or a
oh why folks have started adding cream, fruit and syrup to a Martini
drink is beyond my understanding! If you'd like a cream and gin
drink, order an Alexander, "up." Get what I mean? There
are so many endangered yet tried and true cocktails that already
exist with variations of lemon, chocolate and strawberry flavors
heard people say that these drinks are categorized as Martinis
because of the style of glass they're served in. This is a big
part of why a proper Martini is becoming endangered! Didn't we
learn anything from World War II? You can't judge a book by its
cover and you can't lump all the drinks served in cocktail glasses
together under the umbrella of one drink name, Martini.
and Side Cars are also served in the same sort of glass. Would
you honestly order a "Strawberry Chocolate Manhattan"
or a "Lemon Chocolate Sidecar?" Ewww!
not dissing these other misnamed cocktails but they are, as they
stand, bastard children. Martini is not these cocktails' "baby-daddy."
I doubt Martini was even in the room when these other cocktails
were being created! Call a spade a spade, a club a club and a
diamond a diamond. If one is going to have a lemon & chocolate
cocktail, why not call it by its own name and leave the good name
of Martini alone?
of people have been writing in to LUPEC about mojitos. Technically,
mojitos are not endangered, as you can currently walk in to the
seediest of shot and beer bars and order something called a mojito.
Most bartenders will whip up something and hand it to you. It will
most likely have rum and some kind of mint flavor in it. In most
cases, it will be an abomination.
blame SEX & THE CITY, the HBO soap which is hell bent
on doing to cocktails what Oprah has done with her bookclub.
SEX & THE CITY, the Cosmo was endangered. Now you find
them all over the suburbs, eating people's flowerbeds and running
out into the road in front of your car in the dead of night. Although
mojitos have not proliferated to quite that extent, after the girls
took them up for a season all the cocktail establishments rushed
to find out what they were and how they could make them in their
bar without going to the trouble of growing a pot of mint in the
are a few places where you can get an almost authentic mojito (you
can't get a REALLY authentic mojito in America at all because of
the ban on cuban rum) but there are many more places where you can
get something called a mojito which is similar in character to limeade
with mint in it. JUST SAY NO.
mojito is comprised of FIVE THINGS:
rum (I encourage you to seek out rums from other countries with
character and moral fiber, such as COCKSPUR or MOUNT GAY, and
avoid Bacardi wherever possible),
if you count ice.
you do is put a nice handful of mint leaves in the bottom of your
glass. Add a teaspoon or so of sugar. Mush it around until it smells
minty and nice. Cut a lime in half and squeeze the juice of both
halves into the glass. Add a shot (or two?) of rum and mix it around.
Put in as many ice cubes as you want, and top it off with soda water
(seltzer or club soda---fizzy with NO FLAVORING!!!). You can garnish
it with a pretty mint spring and a lime wedge.
drink will be mostly clear and sparkling with pieces of mint floating
in it. Lovely. Tart, sweet, and summery.
you DO NOT do is: add sour mix, 7Up or any other flavored soda,
use mint syrup or anything like that, leave out the mint or the
limes, OR MAKE THEM AHEAD OF TIME. (You can mix up a "mojito
syrup," by crushing the mint and sugar and lime juice and rum
up together in a pitcher, but please add the soda to the glass just
before serving. Sparkle is key.)
Cuban people have a saying:" the mojito sparks your life and
makes you happy." It is their national drink, and the Cuban
people really know how to have a good time. Try it and see what
it does for you.
If you ever have accession to travel outside the realm of the trade
embargo, you MUST have a mojito made with Havana Club rum. Your
life will never be the same.